Sour panic

The taste of a panic attack.

Every night I wake up to

The sensation of falling onto the bed.

I can't keep up.

I'm overwhelmed.

I'm overstimulated.

My thoughts won't stop.

My heart is racing.

It's catching up on me.

The way things  

Slotted out of place.

And I can't be

The person I want to be.

I am trying to bury it down deep.

Every time I remember 

My thoughts get away from me.

This is scaring me beyond belief.

I don't want to lose myself 

To the emotions and the grief.

The taste of a panic attack.

Bitter and salty on the tongue

Like the sweat on the back of my neck.

I'm one step closer. 

To that cliff I remember. 

That fall I won't forget.

I feel I should get over

It but I just can't.

I'm one step away

From being commited

To that familiar feeling 

Of always fail-

ing to keep hold of me.

Yeah, I think I am losing it.

Sliding back into the state 

Of racing thoughts and disillusionment.

The taste of a panic attack.

Like the scream trapped in my throat.

That background noise of continuous stress. 

I can't stop this panic attack. 

Too much has happened 

And I can't get those days back.

(Stop thinking about it stop thinking about it stop thinking about it stop thinking about it)

The taste of a panic attack.

The world is too loud too bright and

I cannot take much more of that.

I need the world to stop.

Please just let me heal.

Heart beats like it's a race.

How can I keep up?

This is way too much.

I feel way too much.

I wish I remembered how to breathe.