Silent body

 

Silent body

Rocking about,

Has the pain

Screaming loud

Inside.

Silent body

Made of thoughts

About what is

And what is not

Expected.

Silent body

Not silent to me.

But the volume

Is not seen

By you.

A cost

 

My mind is empty 

Because my mind is too full.

My heart has been brimming

To the core.

My nerves are fraying

And my nerves are dull.

My soft warm body

Has been feeling sore.

There is too much of me

And not enough space.

There is too much going on

That I hate.

My time to exist

Keeps meeting delays.

The bodies pile up,

Their safety too late.

I hate this world

Cause I love it too much.

I needed your safety

And I was to be crushed.

My hope in humanity

Tainted by your touch.

My love for my body

Has now come with a cost. 

Headache

 

There is too many days in the place.

I hate how long that it takes

To feel my body and I are not in odds with each other.

I keep trying to ignore it all.

But a body can rise when it falls

And I keep on falling into the the things that bother.

So how can I come to see

The things that are best for me

When society is prone to make me believe the opposite.

Or is it all because

We both have a different cause?

And for them my actual betterment is not it.

So we see and we drive and we fail

And we come to the core of betrayal.

Society is only us if you fit into the machine.

You are not a person but an amount

That they deduct, add on and count

The importance of being healthy will stay unseen.

Until we clog up and destroy the machine.

And I still need to tell you

 

I still need to tell you

About this series that made me laugh

And about my new favorite book.

I do like this writer,

And this sentence.

You will love my book nook.

I still need to tell you

How I like my new hair

This new summer dress I got,

Even if the strap broke.

I can sow a bit now, 

I know that info is a lot.

I still need to tell you

That I am finding out who I am.

I think I am better for it, you see.

It is a long and tedious process

And not without pain.

But I'm starting to understand me.

I still need to tell you

I think I found my calling

In this weird life of mine.

I think I got it from you.

I use everything I learn

To fight for people’s rights.

I still need to tell you

Every time I look in the mirror,

I start to see the bits that are yours.

In the way I curve my smiles.

The way I speak

Or open doors.

I still need to tell you

How it is making me proud.

To be things you are too.

My mothers daughter,

Every day,

A little bit more you.

I still need to tell you

That I love you a hundred times more

A thousand, forever, without stop.

I have so many of them stored. 

I will keep them safe

For when you wake up.

I still need to tell you

That I still need you

That I still need you

That I still need you

That I still need you

That I still

That I

That

I still need to tell you that.

I still need to tell you

That I need you to wake up.

Rutte

 

Rutte 

En 12 messen.

Ik lul ze weg.

Hard kletsen.

Liegen dat ik niet lieg.

Lachen joh altijd, dat.

Klapjes op de schouder 

Van het tafelblad.

Beetje schreeuwen.

Leid af.

Voor de waarheid

Ben ik te laf.

Maak je geen zorgen.

Morgen heb ik dit

Vergeten.

En de winst?

Nederland vergeet 

Het altijd ook.

Why do you hate me so much?

 

Why do you hate me so much?

Please don’t tell me it’s your age

And that you are out of touch.

Religion is not a thing to use 

Just to give you a pass.

Why do you crave me so much?

Is it that I don’t want to be like

You that much?

Is it that putting down your ego

Is too much to ask?

Why do you need me so much?

That you spend your whole day

Thinking about my crutch.

Why do you judge us for putting

Our own gender to the test?

Is it so much of an issue that people actually think about these things,

Is it so much of an issue we don’t follow every rule from the beginning?

Is us existing for ourselves and not for you the thing that leaves you scarred?

Or is it that in this world we are not allowed to know we are?

Step away from these children if you don’t step away from your harm.

I am fed up of the trauma and fed up of what has been done.

Cause they are not wrong, they are not wrong, they are not wrong,

You are all what is wrong.

Why do you hate us so much?

I don’t care anymore, keep 

Your pearls clutched.

Just do the same with

Your mouth at last.

Onsje geluk

 Is het overal winter,

Of enkel in mijn hoofd?

Is er ergens een lente

Die mijn duisternis doorboort?

 

De prop in mijn keel

Kan ik niet langer wegslikken.

Mijn brein voelt te zwaar

En de donkere wolken worden dikker.

 

Ik kan niet langer huilen, 

Maar ik wil alleen maar huilen.

Mijn emoties zien rollen

Over mijn wangen naar buiten. 

Zodat het ergens anders is

Maar niet langer in mij.

Ik wil weer kunnen lachen.

Ik wil er weer kunnen zijn. 

Er is een limiet in de dingen

Die een persoon alleen kan dragen.

Maar ik verdrink in de eenzaamheid

Rondom mijn hulpvraag.

Want in de schaduw van de maatschappij

Wordt ik niet meer gezien.

Dus loopt iedereen maar weer door

Terwijl ik mij emoties er niet uit kan grienen.

Ja mijn beste mensen,

Ik zit er dan toch echt doorheen.

Mag ik om nog even door te kunnen

Een onsje van jullie geluk stelen?