Fuck you, I'm ok!

I see your eyes in the porch light

Hungry to make me eat your words.

Fever struck and muscles tight

You tell me that my existence hurts. 

Hurts the world and hurts the dollar.

Hurts the children and their fathers. 

Hurts your eyes when you see me follow

Sapphic love stories right down into hell.

I might be fat but I won't swallow

Anything that you have made.

I'm spitting out whatever shallow

Opinions are drowning your life.

Does it hurt that I don't want you?

Are you so used to 

Being the main character,

That me just living my life

Makes you think you lose 

Another girl to fantasize to?

Are you hurt that girldick

Trumps a manly manhood? 

My cunt drips fire and truth.

I'm not a girl just because you need me to.

And I won't shrink because you want to

Bend me over and fuck me,

Fold me over to your will,

Tits spilling over, shaking and heavy,

You over run and ready to spill.

I am wanted and you hate it.

Because you're not wanted the same.

You watch my body as it cascaded

On to her, and you masturbated

Your hate all over your screen.

I'm a living reminder to you,

That you are not my life at all.

I'm a living reminder to you

That you can't make everyone small.

Every part of me is a big Fuck you.

My gender,

My curved spine,

My sexuality is a fuck you,

And my fatness will eat you.

As my wheels prepare to bury you away.

My cane to batter on your reign.

Mobility weapons ready to go.

I want you to remember and know:

You won't make my disabled pussy cum.

It knows how to be loved well.

Your rise and swell

Won't move my mountains,

Will never make you feel strong.

You shouldn't have let them come over.

I think that you deserved each other.

Isn't that what I shouldn't say?

People always find a way,

To make excuses for your traits.

As if you didn't do the same.

Old tears don't make a no a yes.

And the past

Won't erase the present.

You're not a rockstar babe.

Just a toxic sludge manipulator.

A vicious smile calling us haters

An old lie making excuses for him.

But both your fingers were deep 

In unwitting participants,

From beginning to the end.

You dug out the crevices to hide the other

Away into another.

And I'm not sure why you bothered.

“Don't Worry I know they love it,

Who wouldn't want to be fucked by fame?”

You say in newspaper articles.

A rite of passage is on the way.

You left them in pieces and walked away.

As long as you were left unhurt.

Guess that saved the world.

Another privileged hero supergirl

Blurring lines of consent.

Maybe you should write a song about it.

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Everyone is moving on living their life.

Heads turned up to soak up sunshine.

When will I stop feeling left behind?

When is my day to share a knowing smile? 

I'm living life like I already died.

You know how it's the darkest right outside

The edges of the light that shines? 

I made my bed right there and there I lie.

Making myself believe it will be alright.

Do you remember the sound of my smile?

Will I just wither away until I die?

I wish I could believe in a happier lie.

Outside of the walls I'm trapped inside.

Will I spend forever frozen in time?

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Take me outside

I'm like the tree

That you need to plant. 

I need the growth,

I need the grass.

I need the air 

That still smells wet.

Like the rain

Has not left yet.

I need the leaves,

I need my breath.

Nature whispering

Inside my head.

I want my feet

Right in the land.

So I have a moment 

To just be present.

Tendency

You have a tendency

To sneak upon me.

Arms raised on a level that people mistake for a hug.

But I know you mean to hold me down.

Because you want me to erase your mistakes.

Uplift your image for society's sake.

Tell them that you are so great. 

Definitely not the reason for my broken state.

Make them believe that everything is OK.

Fuck, There's no limit to how far you have to run away

To escape the tendrils of my wrath.

You have a tendency

To sneak upon me.

My arms raised on a level that people mistake for a gun.

I'll gladly be mistaken for the bad guy.

Has anyone seen Hope?

I am grieving hope.

A lost child in a burned out park, 

The gray where flowers once stood.

A memory.

I thought humans were better.

I'm alone.

No not alone,

But lonely in that feeling 

Of care and healing done communally.

There is this western ideal.

It's called individuality.

Some have it translated to

“Only I and what I want matter;

Only I and what I approve of are alive.”

Worthy of life.

Not worthy of life.

Three letters mean a lot.

The rest of us move through life masked.

Hoping they don't recognise us.

I rather you be inconvenienced than lose my soul

How do you want them to pray without any hands, or talk without their words?

When their tongue is stuck to the roof of their mouths, and their mind is still at home?

When their stomachs rumble louder than the bombs, what do you want them to do?

How can you say they lack basic humanity, but when put on display,

Ours is the one that is found wanting, every single time?

We have killed and we have slaughtered, and we have watched them die.

When the emptiness echoes louder than bombs, what do you think we should do?

Empty our vowels onto the sidewalks, and hope silence is the key?

I rather scream and bury your opinions of me, if it means life.