donderdag 8 augustus 2024

severe ME day

The calendar has changed its time.
Another day passed in this consuming fire.
The planet has changed position but not I.
I'm rusted into bed watching daylight 
Slow dancing with the night. 

I wake my mind with my new desires.
Just to live another day with the same plans.
And sometimes I think I might be liar
Because I want my body to be lying.
God, it feels like slowly dying.

Ideas turn to ashes in my head,
Colours are bleeding out of my hands. 
Sometimes my mouth tastes like death 
And I'm not really living a life.
Just a very prolonged goodbye.

All the things I want snatched away.
And although I cannot abide the silence,
My mouth chews the words I want to say.
Am I truly rotting away my life?
Just existing waiting my time?

But life won't catch up to the years.
No matter how good I am at standing still
And waiting, I'm not breathing life into my fears
If it is simply the reality that I live.
I'm holding out for a wish.

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