The failure of therapy

Pt 1

Him

You keep waltzing into my head 

like you own the place,

With that smug look of satisfaction 

planted on your face,

The same way that you always do.

So very typical of you 

and your need to control the narrative. 

Voices that echo through my brain,

Mocking me for not being sane.

There's a sharpness to how you detonate. 

There's a freshness to how I remember pain.

You took the hinges off the door.

(Like you used to.)

Broken barriers scattered on the floor.

(Like they used to.)

I asked myself who am I even keeping them for.

(Like I used to.)

You never change. 

I tried to change. 

Pt 2

They say therapy helps

Is it healing when it's on repeat?

Am I unbattered if it's now me 

that doles out the beat-

ing and defeat

and you give me nothing?

Is it healing to ask me how I feel,

just to tut a response that's so unreal?

Pen me down and then forget

The appointment 

again and again and again.

What's the point

If he can just walk all over me 

and set my world on fire?

He's a battering ram 

and you're a professional liar.

Both on repeat and

I'm getting tired 

of hearing your voices

Go on

Again and again and again and again. 

Again and again and again and again. 

Again and again and again and again. 

Again and again and again and again. 

I'm not going to keep chasing a new appointment.