Into deep

Tw, SA reliving, no details

Why has night become the moment 

for you to haunt me? 

Does me lying here waiting 

for a sleep that evades me 

remind my body of those moments 

that I had to be still?

Memories roll like a cascade 

of stone down the hill

and there's no stopping them 

going out of control. 

Every night has become a night

I remember something more.

There were days that I struggled 

with all the things I forgotten.

But starting to remember

has become a lot and

my body feels like it 

spinning out of control. 

My heart rate spikes.

I become pure cortisol. 

Panic set in. I can't 

stop my mind from racing.

Oh god, I can't stop

thinking.

And then,

I remember.

I remember.

I remember.

I remember.

I remember.

I remember.

I remember

and remember,

and remember, 

and remember,

and remember.

Stop.

I'm into deep.

Please. 

I just want to sleep.