Why though

 

I have come to admit my confusion

You said we are free but it feels like an illusion.

You are fighting two battles and none of them real

But the whispers in your ears won’t die soon.

They tell you the enemy is others doing

This simple thing called existing.

It’s why your life is wrong,

They robbed you from belonging

And now you take your axes.

You will literally stand in your way,

Contemplate having your rights taken away,

Just so you don't have to think about race

Or how society is misplaced.

Had the truth of their harm erased.

They tell the world totally unfazed

With a smile on their face

That their actions were okay.

Not an apology in sight.

And you tell me you really wants your rights to go,

To maintain that feeling of certain status quo?

Are you fearing the bottom to rise,

And surpass your front door?

You are your own enemy, 

You are your own foe.

Don’t  tell me cause I already know.

Still I still ask myself. Why? Why though?

Shit day

 

Shit day,

Try to feel better

With my tits out day.

Loving myself cause

I look lovely today

Despite my humour

Being gray.

Leading the memories

Of past bullies away.

I feel no one loves me,

So I fix myself day.

I am not sure it helped.

Okay with not being okay?

I hate the world 

I hate the world every day.

I don’t think

It is just my mind

Leading me astray.

It’s just one of those days.

But it is also one of those years.

Cause I have been too long

In the doorway

Of society and I have

Been hunted away.

Told to segregate,

That I was not allowed to stay.

I think it is okay,

To be okay,

With not being okay.

Until I die

 

Don’t hide behind

Your smiles

Cause you are killing

Us, while in denial.

Yes you are killing us.

You are killing us.

You are throwing 

Bodies on the street.

Face down.

Defeated.

Singing while you harm

Those you say you 

Protect.

I want to tear

At those wigs, Claws

Out and deflect

Your charm offensive.

But as I cry,

You will just tell them

To sit on me,........

Until I die.

Rest

 

I am taking a break,

I am taking some time.

Will I empty my head?

Will I sleep for a while?

Will I do all the things,

That I wanted to do?

Find myself satisfied

And rested soon?

Will I take a deep breath

And cleanse this dark air?

Will I travel my mind

Without going anywhere?

Will I love and laugh

And smile till it hurts?

And see that life still

Has it its allure?

Will I, take the rest

They say I deserve?

I hope I do,

Without any reserve.

Home

 

I am taking a break from reality,

My fingers scurrying leafs in rooms I could not longer read.

I am calm and this is also me.

A breath on the air that I exhaled,

My muscles feel the mattress underneath my weight.

I think that it means that I will be ok.

The cat on my arm sings her loud song,

Just as she has been doing all along.

The world is still here.

Just me

 

I am soft in some of my places.

Rounding and fluffy all over me.

And I am edges in all the other ways.

Especially with the words coming out of my face.

I am curiosity in all I want to know,

Burying my nose inside the knowledge.

And some things are things I never want

To know, I lose my interest to harm caused by ego.

I am too much made of caring

And sometimes not at all.

I am open for being loved

And also closed off and wavering.

I am growing as person,

And I have not learned enough.

I like the warmth of daylight

And I hate the sun.

This does not make me an enigma of a sort.

This just makes me human.

I am just being myself.

And I will remain myself going forward.

Hashtag

 

Ze zeiden het is een griepje,

En negeren wat er speelt.

Relde liever voor dat terrasje,

Dan een realistische beeld.

Ze zeiden dat we bang zijn,

Hun kennis van conspiracies geleerd.

We weten wat wij kunnen,

En daar werdt naar gesneerd.

Ze zeiden dat we dood moesten,

Noemden ons afvoer des maatschappij.

Want die “kwetsbaren.”

Die hoorden er niet bij.

Ze zeiden beschermend muurtje,

Die kwam eigenlijk maar niet.

En de nummers bleven groeien,

En de maatschappij sliep.

Ze zeiden niets en we werden vergeten,

En tegelijkertijd de schuld gegeven

Van alles wat er mis was,

En wat de andere beleefden.

Ze zeiden vaccineren,

Om risicogroepen te beschermen.

En we dachten eindelijk gehoord.

Wouden bijna aan veiligheid wennen.

Ze zeiden eerst de anderen,

Vaccineer de kapitalistische ego.

Dus nu roepen we met zijn allen

#VergeetOnsNietHugo !

We zeggen wij zijn klaar

Met de speelbal zijn.

We zijn echt #GeenDorHout

Dus zet ons niet naar achter in de rij.