Missing you

This was not suddenly
But still it took me completely by surprise
I was not prepared
For the moment that you left
Leaving me with so many unfinished goodbyes

I try to avoid my sorrow
But the memories keep pushing me down
And I am drowning
In my grief and my regrets
The voices in me are screaming out loud

Did I forsake you with the choices that I made
Did I push you away or was this simply our fate

I wish I didn't let you go
I'm so afraid that I never get used to
A life without you in it
A life where in I am left alone

The pain wounds me
Everything pales in comparison
For this moment
You're my newest scar
I can't bring you back, you're gone

I'll never forget you
I'll never forget any of the tears I shed
The scenery unfolded
Before my bare eyes 
Were the darkest dreams that I ever had

There's a hole inside of me that may never heal
And I can't find the words to describe how I feel

You left a mark on me
And I can never erase
Everything that I felt
There's no solution for my pain

Will I shrink into oblivion for you
Will you forget the person that I was
I never knew how frail our moments were
Wishing that they could always last
But I can't hold forever in a chokehold
So I live with the echo's of our past
Slowly turning me into stone, slowly making me numb
My world is changing so incredibly fast

I will attempt to go on
But I feel so out of touch
I loved you so much
I still love you so much