Weight

It's all inside my mind
But still it's tearing me apart
Thoughts that keep repeating
Actions that should never start

And it's all inside my mind
I feel the edges expanding
It takes me over completely
I am not sure who is winning

The decisions that I made weigh heavily on my soul
And I never told you about the innocence that he stole

I want to lose the weight I am carrying
I want to take it all and spit it in your face
And it's just that all my problems are showing
You see, I will kill to make everything better
But I know my recommendations are not that glowing

There's something standing
Between you and me
It's everything else that I am
Will you dare to call me fatty

I kill to make them see
All my different reasons for being
But I just put their weight on me
My eyes are simply closing

You see every name you call me, are ten more inside my head
And I opened my legs for to many judgemental opinions

I just want to lose the weight that I am carrying
And I just really want to talk and share at all
But I still fear the day that I find myself crying
I closed myself off and buried me under the weight
Of the world, and now every drop of blood is crawling

And it's all about losing the weight that I carry
Every pound is a symbol of the life that I have led
Do you have the answer that will set me free
Because I am not breathing, and I am not talking
I just want a smaller heart to bury deep inside me

And I am feeling hopeless
Unguided by the hands of time
And I can't call you mine
Can you not take a guess
To what has happened to my soul
Before you spit your vile
All over my pretty dress
And tell me I will never be whole
Maybe you can't see this
But this all is making me sad
My heart is still beating
For every little thing that I miss

And maybe this isn't all about the weight that you see
But it's about the weight that I carry deep inside
Do you understand that I am still unable to tell the story
Now I am teased, now I am broken, and they are blind
These words unspoken might one day set me free