So please don't look at me

Don't look at me!
I don't feel pretty today.
I am whispering
Desperate
Litanies
Into a rearview mirror
But it's only
Staring back at me.
It's not okay.
I'm not okay.
So I tried to rid myself
From my reflection
But it remains.
Like my darkened thoughts.
Should I surrender?
Oh sweet surrender.
I don't know how.
I am picking
At my faults
One by one.
Like putting needles
Into my weakened skin.
And what are looks
But bone and flesh?
They do not show
My comprehension
For language
Nor my love
Or my art.
But I want to be soothing
To the eye.
Even if that means nothing.
I want to bath in the glory
That seems so bright
In the shadow.
The glory of not being noticed at all.
You see,
I don't want to be
Beautiful.
I just want to be normal.
Not the girl that turns heads,
Because she might be ugly
Or she might be fat.
Because that is beautiful to me.
So please don't look at me.
I don't feel beautiful today
And I will
Pick myself apart
Before you ever do.
So please don't look at me,
I want to fade away.....