Erasure

 

Two bodies in the grass.

One moment that was up for grabs.

One hand on my hands

Your other spelling out a demand.

Your hand moved freely,

Finding the silence that you need.

This pressure I feel

Will spend years of my time poisoning me.

Now I carry scars on those hands 

From twenty thousand times washing them.

And still I can't get you off.

I should be angry but still I am not.

I blame myself because that is all I got.

The scars climbing up my arm as I ran.

I ran from my memories.

And I ran from my mind.

I ran from my heart 

As I left the pieces behind.

I ran from commitment

And I ran like a fool.

I ran from the pressure

I ran and ran as I knew

I couldn’t close the distance from you.

But still I ran for….

Decades of my life.

Hiding memories I denied.

But I couldn’t make myself lie.

Here it was again, you and I.

And as I got back in my body for another time.

Watched the scene unfold through my own eyes.

I hope this time it is you that dies.