Icarus holds me

 

Wasn’t it enough when it broke me before?

What was it that made you realize?

“All those memories opened a door

And it is my time to invade her mind (again).”

I keep remembering things slowly,

Never all of it, never all at once.

Just as I think I have written my story,

There is another thing I found wrong.

I can’t cope with all those looks of pity people give to me.

I can’t cope with the sadness in their eyes. 

I don’t want empathy, I fucking want you all to lie.

Tell me this was normal.

Tell me everyone understands.

Tell me you have memories

That broke you down with

The demands.

Tell me this is normal,

Tell me all is fine. 

Stop telling me you’re sorry.

I refuse what you give,

It isn't mine.

Wasn’t it enough when it drowned me?

Haven't I died enough for you?

I am just a performance away, I see,

From becoming your loyal fool.

Well God never saved my mind and that is alright.

I can’t cope with your ideas of healing.

I just want your lies about what I'm feeling.

Just tell me this is normal.

Because I need to know

Someone understands me

Enough to break me

And let it go.

Tell me this is normal, please,

Tell me this is normal.

I am tired of lying here in

Emptiness curled around

Me like a ball.

But I am not the one who can undo the treads of time.

Unless I am the one who sends my soul to hell.

And I do love life, it’s just… It’s just…. Well…

I need to know I’m normal.

Trauma, scars and all.

If you make me hope soar,

I can accept every

Time I fall.

Just get me closer to the sun.