Slipping

 

Could have told you I was burning.

You’d burn yourself saying you don’t see the fire.

Could have told you I was drowning.

You would walk into the water to call me a liar.

Tried to tell you that I changed.

But your hands are stuck on my deadname.

Tried to tell you I’m not ashamed.

But some things will always stay the same.

You understand anything but me.

You want me to be someone else, 

but I am not she.

I am my own creation,

I am of my own making.

But sometimes I just want to hear

That you think I am ok.

That you think I won’t break

Under the weight 

Of everything in me

That other people hate.

That I am loved

In the same way

As all the other people

You say,

You understand.

Shy away from past pains,

Ones I never dared you to make.

Shy away from the repeat,

But you recycle the mistakes.

I am not the one you see.

Close your eyes, and drown me in 

Expectations of me.

I am my own salvation,

I am a God in making.

But sometimes I just want to know,

I am an ok human.

I am humanity,

Not a fault in the system.

Take out all my roots

And have someone bless them.

I am not a product

My soul is not for sale.

But you have been riding

On my tail,

And you’re slipping.

Take me as I am, as me.

I am not going to change and

I’m done asking you  please.