The narrative of a 16 year old me

Would you believe me if I told you
That I still remember the time
That you took what you wanted
And what you wanted was mine

My body, my soul, and everything else
You left on the floor, burdened with your
Scars, your wants and the power you took,
But darling, you kicked open a door
Men had forcefully opened before.

But right now I am still confronted with you
Every day until I decide it's time to move
I'm 16 all over again.

You just figured that what's broken can still bend
Until it gets broken all over again.
You just figured that what's broken can forget
You forced yourself on me and left it at that.
And you just figured what's broken will not remember every day
Your hands on my mouth and the frozen blood in my veins.

We grew older but still I freeze up
When I see your face on my balcony.
I say hi, every time, and fake a smile
But the cold immediately settles in me.

You wanted what you thought you wanted
And with that forgot everything I needed.
The autonomy of being my own person,
And the prospect of safety that you deleted.

There are days that I am too scared
To leave the house that becomes my prison
Just because I chance running into you
And in that moment I will become
16 once more, and that's what I don't want

There's a story that needs to be told.
There's a wound that never grows old.
But still I hold my tongue
To you.

You just figured that what's broken can still bend
Until it gets broken all over again.
You just figured that what's broken can forget
You forced yourself on me and left it at that.
And you just figured what's broken will not remember every day
Your hands on my mouth and the frozen blood in my veins.

You just figured that I wouldn't tell the story, and deny
What happened to me, and for long you were right.
You just figured that the world will think it's a lie
But I found my words within the words that rhyme.
And now I am here to gather up my strength so I can write
Your assault on me was not a game, the fear almost made me die

And maybe you were just as old as me,
Still you had the power to change the narrative
Of this 16 year old and what she would be.

But you still live next door, like nothing happened.
Portraying the perfect image of a man and husband.
Just a neighbor a door away in time.
Almost a stranger that doesn't share this crime.
Oblivious to the past in the sense
You bathe yourself in undeserved ignorance.
I want to give you my pain because it belongs there,
But I can't so I will stay the lonely survivor,

Surviving,
Remembering.

I am not ready to forgive you.