Camera

I watched you sleeping
Through a camera
That pointed north
Of the divide
On your body
And I thought
You knew
What I wanted from you
Even when
I was unable to explain.

We were not searching for love
But for a reason to be less lonely
And for someone to understand.
You didn't.

So I watched you slip out
The same way you slipped in
And my computer
Did not make any sound
Anymore.

It was magic
But I am over it,
I was over it
Before it begun.

I watched you sleeping
On a computerscreen
And for that moment
You kept me alive
With craving
And lust
And wonder
And the notice
Of time fleeing away from me.

You were meant to be forever
As a pleasant and a hopeful memory
That would have been destroyed
If all had started
Differently.
Together.
Trying.

It was not the moment that killed me,
When I found out
We were just two souls brushing shoulders
In passing.

And in silence
I still remember,
Not what could have been,
But simply what was.

I watched you sleeping
Through a camera.
But I wan't there
When you
Woke up.