Twisted

There is not a trail of me left
In the words you used to say.
You made me strangle myself
And I obeyed to change.
But this was not me.

You did not know me and the things I capable of.
You did not know anymore than you knew yourself.

I have a plan.
It involves finding myself again
And so far it is really working.

But I was just a little girl
When I lost my sense of self.
But in this world of strangers
Are still people that want to help.

I am strong
Without being bitter.
It's you not me
That needs to be forgiven
Someday.

I have grown accustomed to your absence
But sometimes I wonder if you still remember us
Without being hateful because we don't need you.
Your face is getting to nothing more than a blur.
I used to see you in myself but that's not there anymore.
The mirror does not lie, certainly not like you did.

And I am starting to become someone I admire.
It is so strange to think about the possibilities you said I would never have.
You said life could not get any better than this.
My heart beats for freedom and it beats for safety
And it beats for helping those that others has beaten down to find life again.

It is really strange that I make steps in life now,
That does not involve me asking myself
Whether I want this or it is just your voice talking.

And it is really strange that you never wanted more for us
Than all the fuck ups in life that you had got and made.
Did keeping us lower than you were made you feel better?

I was adaptable
But now I start to become impenetrable
To the vicious vile of ferocious nonsense you can throw my way.

I don't want to be the person people want me to be.
I want to be the person that I want to be and like her.

I am getting there.
And if that is further away from you,
That is really okay.

For blood is blood and nothing more.
Family is love and I have chosen.
I have chosen their love.