I'm not done breaking

You say it's time to heal.

But I don't want to talk.

It was so beneficial to ignore it

So I wouldn't fall apart.

Until I find myself breaking again, 

But it is only something temporary. 

When shutting down is all you know 

Barely coping is the thing that feels healthy. 

I fully admit it now,

Change is rather scary.

Scarier than hiding myself. 

That's just how I feel.

Yeah I am barely hanging on now. 

But it's simply the way things are.

I can't change what the past did to me.

Why would I want to pick at the scars?

I don't want to remember

The memories of broken promises.

Even if my skin will always

Break on all of this.

So what if this will cost me in the end?

What will be the difference if I do?

Healing is just breaking part on demand

And who do you think that will fool?

I don't want to pick at the scab.

I don't want to talk all of my problems away.

It's OK if simply breathing my pain

Is all that I can do today.

I'm not done breaking. 

I'm still alive.

I will pick myself up as soon 

As I no longer survive.