I'm not okay

I'm okay, I'm okay,

I whisper into the vortex

Of the day.

And today,

Yes today,

I try to convince myself

It's this way….

No, I am not okay,

At least not today.

But you rather hear the lie

Than face the truth.

Somehow it always stays the same.

People don't want to see

The true colours of your face.

And who is too blame?

The liar or the lie?

Cause nobody wants to see

The truth that's inside of me.

I'm scared of my own body. 

Yes I'm scared of my body. 

No, I am not okay,

At least not today.

But you just want me to hide the pain

Behind a smile,

Behind a lie,

Until the lies melts my brain.

I'm scared that

One day I will break. 

My body will snap and break.

But I can not do this any longer,

And those little lies build up.

And I can not handle them any more.

Do you think I should be ashamed ?

Of the fact that I'm not okay?

Sometimes I can not stop crying

And I stay in bed all day.

Have I told you how I keep gaining weight?

My body is keeping all my sins inside.

But one day I will melt away.

I'm so scared of the pressure and pain,

How life steals my breath away. 

Sometimes I fear I am dying,

And I want to stay. 

Please tell me I'm not dying,

Cause I want to stay.

No, I am not okay,

At least not today.

But you rather hear the lie

Than face the truth.

Somehow it always stays the same.

People don't want to see

The true colours of your face.

And who is too blame?

The liar or the lie?