Through curtains of fear

I'm afraid to not get better.
I'm afraid what happens when I do.
I'm afraid the roads it will lead me on.
And if on the end of there I'm left to

Pick up the pieces of myself again.
I'm afraid for what will do more harm
And afraid for what might do good.
And I am afraid your dazzling charm

Will not be enough to heal my wounds.
I'm afraid that I might break your spirit
If I love just a tad bit too much.
And that in all the rubble I have left it

You have grown to despise me, just like everyone else.
And if I dare to touch you, you turn away like everyone else.

But I have to start hurting to get through the healing of it all.
Do they not say that the only way out is through?
I rather fear that it might be the pride before the fall,
Breaking me.

I'm just afraid of being afraid
And if it is stupid not being afraid.
I fear the uncertantity,
God this fear I hate!

I fear that I might now know
If at the end of all of this thisness
I'm the one standing there.
Did I change away from my likeness?

Did I change to the point that I don't make them care?
Did I harm too much for make repairs?

They say to take it step by step and day by day,
But falling is still falling, even when done slow.
And once I have come to love anyone,
I don't want them to go.

The outcome is just so unknown.
The answeres have yet to show, up.
But fear can not guide me.
Not now.
Not ever.
Not always.

The say heaing starts when you start to pick up the pieces.
As long as you aware to not cut yourself accidently.
But do not fear to start with this anyway.
With trust comes liberty.

I love you, now I must love me.