Eating away

Today I walked into the store
With an opened wallet
But without a response
On how to make
Everything end

I was hungry
And yes I was sad
Sometimes those two
Get confused
Inside my head

The more you try
The less you die
With the emotions
Laid out to rest
And then die

So I try and erase
The energy that I didn't burn
But the clock keeps ticking
Every turn
Every single turn

I only stopped being nice to me because I thought I had no option

And I want to be healthy and I want to be...
And I want to be healthy and I want to be me
But I'm not there yet, no I am not there yet

You say that I am living my life  in the bottle
But I still see the pieces falling of the wall
I see it all, Oh yes I see it all

A little sugar
On the redcoated lips
Turn my fattest self
Inside out
With a single fingertip

It gets me down
To fit in a lost perception
Of what society
Thinks is acceptable
I want to be another healthy version

Yes I want to be the other healthier version of who I am today

I drink it all up and I swallow it all down and I hit repeat
And there is the chance that I won't stop until I have myself beat
Maybe if I walk the plank, you walk the plank with me

But they said that the better battles are best fought alone
And as I starve myself to death I fall down the stones
I am not healthy, baby I am not healthy yet

If I move my hands against the ever ticking clock
Do you think I have the ability to make it all stop
Don't make me stop, Don't make me stop

If I throw a coin into the well can I wish that I was in charge
That everybody would listen or will I end up falling fast
Boy yes I am falling fast

Boy yes this is fucked up
I am crushed